OMG, I LOVE IT!

I'm sure you'll have read Mr Blackwell's Worst Dressed List. The good news is, Britney isn't on it. The bad news is, just about every other person in the list is someone I rate. Bummer! What does this say about me? What does this say about Mr Blackwell? Does anyone care?

1. Victoria Beckham

OK, so she's completely ridiculous, but that's what makes her so fabulous, surely? She doesn't take herself seriously, and neither should you. Case for the defence;



2. Amy Winehouse

Mr Blackwell didn't include Britney on his list because he thought she was having a hard time lately, and it wasn't fair. Some might argue Ms Winehouse is having a hard time too, but evidently not Mr B. Anyway, Wino is an easy target, but, track marks and make up smears aside, there's really not that much wrong with her fashion, if you ask me. Like Ronnie Spector after a night out (or a night in with Phil Spector?), Amy rules. Case in point;



3. Mary Kate Olsen

I'm personally not into the whole MKA madness, but c'mon. Every other Nylon reader cites MK (or A) as fashion inspiration. Bringing bag lady chic to the masses, Mary Kate and the other one may not look 100% groomed at all times, but for a generation of skinny minnies, they are icons of the highest order. And they brought back the humble V-neck t-shirt. Case in point;



4. Fergie

Ah Stacey. Ms Ferguson is a guilty (or not so guilty, as the case may be), pleasure of mine. Her ghetto-fabulous-hip-hop-a-rific-g-l-a-m-o-u-r-o-u-s style is fucking killer. It shouldn't work, and some might say, it doesn't, but I still won't hear a word against my Fergie-Ferg. Oh and her album is fucking brilliant. There. I've said it. Case in point;



5. Kelly Clarkson

OK, you can have her

Some of you might know that I have a certain fondness for the delectable lady Penelope. Brilliant actress, and well, you wouldn't kick her out of bed in the morning now, would you? I finally got round to buying Volver on DVD this weekend -- a wonderful film, that you should watch now if you haven't before. Anyway, enough of the culture, this is fashion o'clock.

As some of you may know, Penelope and her sister Monica designed ('designed'?) a range for Mango last year, and it's now time for collection numero dos. The collection is inspired by classic menswear pieces -- oversized shirts as dresses, washed out denim cut-offs and fedora hats (the new trilby?). What do you think? Personally I think both sisters could wear Jane Norman and look great.




(Images thanks to http://icydk.com)

What do you think of Helena Bonham Carter's dress at the Sweeney Todd London Premiere? I adore the colour (matching your dress to the carpet? now that's co-ordination), I adore the top half, I adore the shoes... but wait, somewhere in between it all goes horribly wrong. I know, I know Helena, you take issue with the press criticising your clothes. I understand that, and I love you for it. I understand not wanting to conform. I understand you're a brilliant actress, and the clothes are just fun -- 'I don't think I dress eccentrically... I'm just not conservative, I guess - I dress according to what like. And I'm not a mannequin, as you can tell.' (HBC in the Observer last weekend). I even know you had a baby a couple of months ago. But the fact is, Helen, your legs are incredible, and this dress cuts them off (literally) in their prime. I want to run up the red carpet and lop 10" off the bottom.

Twineth and I always refer to Jane Norman as Jane Normal. Fairly self explanatory, I think. The high street arylic-fest is home to all sorts of normal clothing -- slightly slutty partywear, but not slutty enough to be exciting. Office wear, but nowhere near chic enough to be taken seriously. Fashionable, I suppose, but nowhere near fashionable enough to make a statement. Jane Normal is office party wear -- all glitter detail tops, bootcut trousers and generic jeans.

This attack isn't entirely out of the blue, although I'm always willing to rant about shit High Street stops. As I'm sure you've all heard by now, Ms Normal has done really rather well for herself this year. The question that just about everyone is asking is, how the hell have they made a staggering £21.5million in one year (up £9m on last year), when all around them the High Street is struggling to flog anything? How are they raking in millions when absolutely no-one will admit to shopping there? Jane Norman doesn't have the purse-friendly appeal of somewhere like Primark or H&M, nor does it have the credibility of Topshop.

The store's success is a mystery -- and it's hilarious seeing the story unfold in all the fashion rags. There's a big question mark in the air, and lots of what the fuck-ing. Maybe it's snobbery, or maybe it's, actually, because there's nowt nice in there. Still, let's think about why Normal Jane might be doing so well. Maybe me and Twineth's nickname is onto something. For normal women looking for something special to wear for a party, maybe Jane Norman is the place to go? I remember when I was temping with a lawyers, all the legal secretaries were mad about the place. When it was office Christmas party time, they flocked there for glittery lycra and floral print wrap tops.

A glance at the categories on their website back this up -- 'out with the girls', 'special night on the town' and 'sexy is back', anyone? Whatever the story, there's no denying that Jane is racking up sales at an alarming rate. Maybe we all need to get over ourselves and revel in the man made fibres. You first...